cinco de mayo

Self portrait on May 5, 2012.  Happy independence day, Mexico!  (Yes, to answer your question, this photo is in no way related to the holiday.)

fully functioning

I wish you could hear me say this: I can talk again!  Even better, there doesn’t seem to be any permanent damage.  The doctor had said to not speak for 1, maybe 2 weeks, possibly even longer.  I committed to following her instructions and probably said a max of 200 words per day for an entire week.  I googled it and apparently the average person says about 15,000 words per day.  Fifteen THOUSAND.  Incredible.

Not speaking was a huge challenge.  As one of my coworkers said, it’s not like a broken arm where I can wear a cast and it’s obvious that I can’t use it the same way.  People were unsure of how to be around me and those who didn’t know what happened obviously expected me to speak when they spoke to me.  It got awkward often.

Part of me thought that not speaking would be a kind of vacation from communication and would be somewhat simplifying.  It was most definitely not simplifying at all.  I constantly felt stressed.  Even in my own apartment away from everyone I had to consciously remember to not speak.  I turns out that I speak to myself and sing along with whatever I’m listening to pretty often.  It was similar to when you feel like you’re forgetting something and until you figure out what it is, that thought sits in the back of your mind and weighs you down a bit mentally.

The accident also made me think a lot about friends and family that are physically far away.  There were a few brief seconds right after it happened that I thought I was going to suffocate to death.  And then I thought I might be permanently, seriously injured.  Having those thoughts makes you think about those who are important to you.  Mostly I thought about how I’d feel if the same thing happened to any of them while I was living here.  I cried a lot the last few weeks (see previous post) while having these thoughts.

I’m going to end this post with a message to all those near (or far) and dear to me:  I love you and I think about you more than you know.  I am so happy you are safe and well.  I can’t wait to see you again and give you a serious hug.

emotional

The last few weeks have been full of ups and downs.  I’ve also been feeling very emotional.  Though after a conversation I had today, and having a good think about the subject afterwards, I’m starting to wonder if I’m emotional all the time.  The conversation I had was about how I can be an emotional drinker.  You know, the girl who ends up her night having a deep conversation accompanied by an embarrassing amount of public tears.

The person who I was talking to felt it was because of the drinking that I became overly emotional.  I don’t think that’s the case.  The truth is, I am emotional all of the time, I’m just not that good at turning it off after a few drinks.  I cry while watching regular television ALL the time.  Something sad happens, I cry.  Something happy happens, I cry.  Even a good commercial about family or something will sucker me into tearing up.  Maybe I’m too connected to my emotions.  I really don’t know.

All I know is that I feel.  I feel for things I have, things I’ve had, things I’ve never had, things I miss, things I messed up, and things I haven’t experienced.  I just feel.  Maybe I’m more of a tortured artist than I thought.

One thing I can say for sure.  It doesn’t matter if I’m out at a bar after drinking for 6 hours straight or home on the couch watching Law and Order.  The chances of me breaking out the tears is about equal.  I’m just a bit better at stopping them once they’ve started if I haven’t anything to drink.

This post has made it sound pretty likely that I’m a bit of an alco.  Let me clarify that I go out at most once a week and while I often have a hangover, it’s not usually due to the fact that I’ve drank enough to kill a miniature horse.  I’m not very good at sticking to one type of alcohol and mixing is a surefire way of inviting a hangover. This wasn’t always the case and if you knew me when I was 18-25 years old, I’ll tell you that I don’t go out like I used to.  I am a force of nature on the partying front no more

Okay, time to go watch Bones.  In last week’s episode Dr. Brennan had her baby.  Naturally I cried.

speechless

How accident prone am I? Very.

See the below comic strip for an explanation of why I’m under doctor’s orders to not speak for the next week or two.

a day in the life by k. lewis

In other awesome things happening in the last 2 days: my shoes fell apart at work today, I’m behind from missing a day of work, I can’t go to Spanish class or rock climbing without a voice, my apartment is freezing, my laptop got broken during my little accident,  and I’ve realised it’s much more frustrating trying to communicate without a voice than I’d imagined. Can my voice box heal up a little quicker please?!

visits, birthdays, and so on and so forth

So…I suck.  I know it’s been forever and a day since I added anything to this blog.  I know there have been plenty of big things happening that I should have been updating this with, but I just haven’t gotten around to it.  I apologise.

First off – my parents visit was a raging success.  We had a great time together and we managed to get lots of sight seeing in.  We did pretty much everything from driving the incredibly scenic Great Ocean Road to watching the penguins at Phillip Island, wine-tasting in the Yarra Valley to zip-lining through the Otway Rainforest, eating dumplings in Chinatown (my parents even used chopsticks) to wandering the street art filled laneways of the city, attending an Aussie Rules football game to watching an incredible fireworks display over the Yarra River.  Here’s a couple of quick snaps from our trip:

The 12 Apostles - Great Ocean Road

Mom taking a picture of a koala at Cape Otway

The friendly neighbours where we stayed in Lorne - cockatoos everywhere!

Zip-lining our way through the Otway Rainforest

St Patrick's Cathedral, Melbourne

Hosier Lane - some of the best street art in Melbourne

Mom and Dad in Hosier Lane

Flinders Street Station, Melbourne

At the People's Market in Docklands, Melbourne

At Etihad Stadium for Hawthorn vs. Melbourne pre-season AFL game

Mom and I at the footy

Melbourne at night, just before the Moomba Festival fireworks on my parents' last night here

There are a few other notable things happening of late.  I had a birthday in March.  I chose to not do much for celebrating, but it was lovely to receive a few cards, lots of love via facebook, and even a gift – new rock climbing shoes from my parents!  I’ve gotten pretty busy during weeknights lately too.  I’m taking a beginner-level Spanish class on Tuesdays, rock climbing on Wednesdays, and taking a yoga class on Thursdays.  This weekend I also cashed in my birthday gift to myself – a voucher for an introductory flying lesson.  My friend Natalie also signed up, and the two of us had a great time.  I didn’t land the plane, but I did help with takeoff and flew it pretty much the whole time when we got up in the air.  Pretty awesome stuff.  If you don’t already have the same tradition as I do, I suggest you take my lead and start buying yourself a birthday present every year.  It does fantastic things for the soul.

Natalie just after take off

Natalie post-flight

Me during take off

Me post-flight

Nat and I with the tiny two-seater plane we both flew

I think that pretty much does it for an update!  I’m going to get back to work on a little project at home.  Had planned to go out and run a few errands on this final day of my 4 day Easter weekend, but I just don’t want to deal with the weather!  It’s on the chilly side and alternately is sunny or raining – seems to switch from one to the other every thirty minutes.  It also hailed at one point and the weather is only supposed to get more intense as the day goes on – I think I’ll pass and curl up on the couch instead.  Hope you all had a lovely Easter as well!

the yanks are coming!

This is such a big week.  My parents are not only coming to visit me in Australia for the first (and possibly only) time, one of my best friends achieved a major goal and I couldn’t be happier for her.  My friend Emily gave birth to her second baby after what I believe to be the longest labour on record.  And she did it all at home, sans drugs, and completely naturally.  I am in some serious awe of her.  The idea of having kids has always terrified me a bit, but just knowing what Emily did this weekend (and I mean literally spent the ENTIRE weekend doing) makes me feel like I could do it too.  If  you’re curious about her birth experience, pregnancy, how she is raising her kids, or want to read some reviews of kid/parenting products, head on over to her blog:  www.babydickey.com.

On to the other big thing – my parents are coming to Melbourne!  In 4 days!!  I’m a mix of excitement and anxiety. I’m excited to have visitors, to see my family, and I’m also really excited for my parents to be taking this big of a trip together.  Flying around the world is no small feat – their bravery, willingness, and commitment to this undertaking is fantastic – and hopefully inspiring to some of my other American friends and family.  I’m anxious that the journey from there to here will overly exhaust them or make them feel ill, that they’ll feel uncomfortable in another country, that they won’t be comfortable in my apartment, that the things we do will cost much more than they are expecting, and mostly I’m anxious that the trip won’t live up to expectations.  There’s nothing worse than spending a heap of time, money, and energy on a trip to have it just be okay.

For now I’m just finishing up some preparation (laundry, grocery shopping, etc), watching the weather forecast, and getting a ton of work done at the office this week before Mom and Dad touch down in Melbourne on Friday.  I’m really excited to meet them at the airport.  I’ve never picked anyone up at the airport before!  I know how much I love having someone there to pick me up, so I can’t wait to finally return the favour

love is love

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’ve got a few things to say.  Number 1:  Being single is not the end of the world.  Number 2: All couples deserve to be able to express their love in the same way.

Being Single is Not the End of the World

I am twenty-six, female, heterosexual, and single.  I’ve been single almost my entire life.  My most meaningful relationship is with myself.  If I had to identify my significant other right now, I’d be directing you to my best friend.  I date sporadically, and never more dates with one person than I can count on one hand.  Right now you might be thinking a few things about me.   Maybe she isn’t attractive and can’t get dates.  Maybe she’s secretly gay.  Maybe she’s really picky.  Maybe she’s afraid of love.  Maybe I am those things, maybe I’m not.  For the record, I don’t think that any of those are entirely true (maybe a tiny bit of the last two.)

The truth is, I’m independent.  I don’t need a significant other to get through daily life.  I don’t mind not having a date to the movies, or to a friend’s dinner party, or someone to cuddle up with while watching a movie when it’s raining on Sunday afternoon.

Let me clarify something quickly.  It’s not that I wouldn’t love to have someone to share those things with – I would!  I am just not ready to give up my freedom for a relationship that’s anything less than amazing.  I have dated a lot of men, some good, some not so good.  Very few of them got me excited about the potential that a relationship with them held.  And that is exactly what I’m looking for – excitement to my very core.  Maybe I’ve watched too many romantic movies, but it’s out there for some people and I’m holding out hope that I’m one of them.

So for now, I date when I want to, and with whomever I want to.   And when I don’t feel fireworks, I don’t feel obligated to continue the relationship.  To be honest, continuing to date someone when I don’t feel that spark is awkward, and sometimes it can be a lot of work.  Maybe I just don’t have the stamina for dating!

All Couples Deserve to Be Able to Express Their Love in the Same Way

This is a completely different topic, and one that is much more important than my own atypical love life.  Marriage equality.  It’s a pretty hot button political issue right now and honestly, I’m pretty over it.  I just don’t understand why it is a big thing.  I thought we’d landed fairly squarely on the “everyone deserves equal rights” consensus back in the 1960′s.  So why is it that we’re still denying people civil rights?

I understand that you may not like the idea of two people of the same gender being intimate with each other, falling in love, being married, or having a family together.  I understand that you may believe that two people of the same gender being married is against your religion and maybe it is.  While I would be just about the last person to lecture on what being religious means, I think it boils down to loving people.  Having morals for yourself and caring about and supporting others around you.  It’s not supposed to be about hating people because they aren’t the same as you or judging people because they live their life in a different way than you do.  You don’t have to like how someone lives their life, but you can respect their decisions and offer your support if it’s wanted.

If a church wants to ban marriage between gay couples, that’s for the church to decide.  Then you can decide if it’s a church you want to be part of.  But having the right to enter into the legal bond of marriage is something the government grants, not the church.  This is where that separation of church and state would really come in handy.

I think America needs to be reminded that that separation of church and state was a big part of our constitution and the founding of our nation.  The fact that being a respectable church-goer is an unwritten requirement to be accepted as a candidate for major political office in the United States seems to go directly against that.  If there really was a separation of church and state, we would be judging candidates on their political plans, their voting records, and the kind of person they are.  And before you use the phrase “good Christian” like those two words always go together, let’s just remember that just because someone calls themself a Christian does not automatically make them a good, honest person.  It’s a shame that’s assumed.  There are some very hateful political candidates out there right now that justify their small mindedness and hateful opinions by saying that they are good Christian people with Christian values.

There are many Americans (and people in other nations around the world watching American politics) who are loving, kind, accepting, and true believers in equal rights for all people.  But there are a lot of people who are holding on to hate and their own person opinions of what’s “okay” and what’s not.  I wish those people would channel their energies into bringing the debate about what’s acceptable and what isn’t to their own churches and let the government give equal marriage rights to all Americans.  The longer and more fanatic the marriage rights debate gets, the more antiquated and ridiculous the US political system becomes.

Summary

I find it almost incomprehensible that in the year 2012, I have a civil right that I’m not even remotely interested in using right now that thousands of people dream about and fight for every day.

I hope that someday very soon, my gay friends can also have the exact same opportunities I have when I start dating someone.  I want them to also be able to have that moment I sometimes have where you catch yourself wondering what it would be like to be married to this other person without remembering halfway through the thought that it isn’t even possible.